Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Paranormal Activity (2007) * 1/2

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Two words describe this 2007 film from writer/director Oren Peli: absolutely horrible.  I don’t care who gave it 3.5 stars out of a possible 4, I found the whole 90 minutes to be a complete waste of time.  Someone had the audacity to tell me I would be terrified because of how scary this was supposed to be—the only thing that frightened me about it is that there are actual people who think this is a horror movie.

The story is about a twenty-something San Diego couple who start videotaping (handheld and on a tripod) their every waking moment and every sleeping moment to capture whatever paranormal activity is happening in their home.  The couple is annoying and by 2009_paranormal_activity_001the end of the film you hope whatever is haunting their home kills them both. The handheld camera work makes you nauseous and you pray the camera will be dropped and broken—thus ending your headache and queasy stomach. 

Paranormal Activity is the most profitable movie ever made. First made as an independent film on a shoestring budget, its film rights were bought by Paramount Pictures for $350,000 and it made over $190 million.  As if this isn’t startling enough, it has also launched a franchise and as I write this they are making the fourth installment.  Why anyone would want to watch any movie that aims to replicate this one is beyond me. 

16 comments:

  1. I couldn't agree more; pure waste of time!

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  2. I have never seen the film Paranormal Activity. I do not believe in ghost.. and I want to keep it that way.:)

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    1. Dawn, this film wouldn't change your mind about ghosts. However, it would reinforce your understanding that idiots roam the earth.

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  3. I completely agree, Kim. It's like watching a family's boring slideshow of vacation photos, ranging from various shots of the ground to everyone eating at McDonald's. I watched the first sequel because I'm an idiot; it's not any better. I thought you were being nice, Kim, by giving it that extra half-star.

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    1. I was wondering if I was being too nice with the 1/2 star, too. I must have felt generous.

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  4. I just watched this film. I agree with what you've written. When it started I thought, "Another 'found footage' movie?" After 15 minutes I was already tired of it.

    I had actually been looking forward to it because most horror films bore me to death. Gore does nothing for me, other than make me look away now and then, and there's no suspense because you know the people are going to die from the knife/axe/chainsaw wielding maniac.

    On the contrary, movies that don't actually show you stuff scare me (see 1963's The Haunting sometime.) Even though Paranormal Activity doesn't get much into the gore, it also doesn't get much into the suspense or scares, either. I gave it 1 star out of 5, which is as rare as my 5 stars out of 5 ratings (about 1% each of all movies I have seen.)

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    1. I don't like gore very much, either. Still, I think the scariest movie I ever saw was Candyman--it just creeps me out. Glad to know I'm not the only one who found this to be a complete bore.

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  5. Kim, I couldn't agree more. I am so over the handheld camera genre that was revived with the equally ridiculous, unscary BLAIR WITCH PROJECT.

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    1. The Blair Witch Project is 10X better than Paranormal Activity--and that's not saying much.

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  6. I -hated- this movie. I hated this movie not because it was found footage, or made on the cheap, or not that scary (which it wasn't--I watched it, went to bed, and was asleep in five minutes). I hated this movie because the characters were the epitome of stupid, particularly the guy.

    You know something is happening. You know it's connected to her. You've seen her threaten you in your sleep. So by all means, stay in the house with her.

    And for this, they took Amelie off the list.

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    1. SJ: That guy was an idiot. It is a crime that this made the list and a true treasure like Amelie got kicked off it!

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  7. This movie reminds me of The Blair Witch Project -- shaky camera that made me nauseous and gave me a headache, nothing happening through the film, having to look at the girl's snotty nose, and nothing happening even at the end. Blech! Paranormal Activity was the same way, except it had 3 seconds of something a little scary at the very end. Period. Waste of film and time. Total agreement, Kim!

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    1. Oh, Becky, you are so right: they were both so boring! As usual, great minds think alike.

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  8. I love horror movies, but I have yet to see a "Paranormal Activity" movie. I hated Blair Witch, so maybe that is why I stayed away.

    The most pleasant surprise of the 2012 movie year for me, has been, so far, was the found footage movie "Chronicle" which matches the found footage aesthetic with state of the art special effects. But what sets it apart from other found footage movies is it gives us characters we care about.

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  9. Kevin, it is a lot like The Blair Witch Project, but not as interesting. I haven't seen Chronicle, but if it makes the audience care about the characters it is very different than the other found footage films I've seen.

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